During my year, I have.....
.....explored my creativity
.....taken to the skies
.....conquered my fears (or not, you damned spider!)
.....permanently altered my appearance
.....communed with nature
.....nurtured new talents
.....got fit (and then unfit again)
.....laughed ....a lot
.....dipped my toe into the murky world of crime
.....discovered a love of writing
.....learnt not to say 'no' when 'yes' is more fun
.....tasted adrenalin .... and liked it
.....walked round London in my underwear
.....been eaten alive
.....marvelled at the wonder of nature
.....been spiritually awakened
.....been cold - very cold!
.....experienced and loved the high life (The Ritz!)
.....experienced and loved the not-so-high life (the dogs!)
.....been culturally educated and enlightened
.....risked my life
.....stripped
.....performed to an audience
.....opened my eyes
.....rekindled old friendships
.....counted my many blessings
.....relived my youth
.....embarrassed my children (I apologise)
.....bankrupted my husband (I apologise again)
.....lost some dear friends (Luke and Lynn, you are in my thoughts)
but I have still NEVER.....
.....seen the Sound of Music!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well done to the one person (whoever you are) whom I failed to deceive. £10 is winging its way to charity on your behalf. Thank you to my lovely friends, Lorraine, Ruth and Tracy, who donned wimples and habits in the West End for no reason at all, and who played along magnificently with my ruse. And just for the record I would rather have my teeth pulled out without anaesthetic, than watch the Sound of Music!!!!
A final THANK YOU to all of you who accompanied me, encouraged me, supported me, laughed with me, drank with me, despaired of me, lied with me, paid for me (Iain!) on this wonderful journey. I hope along the way I have inspired you all to challenge yourselves, to follow your dreams, to say yes, and not to put off till tomorrow what you can do today. Thank you and goodbye..........but keep your bags packed!
Fifty Ways to Leave Your Forties
Thursday, 2 February 2012
Wednesday, 4 January 2012
Challenge 51- DECEIVE, AND GET AWAY WITH IT!!!
As a woman of virtue and integrity, this challenge goes against the grain, so I apologise to all my trusting friends and family. The art of deception has always eluded me - my nose twitches and I hum mysteriously when I lie - but I feel this is the year to perfect the skill and use it. In fact I am slightly worried by the frisson of excitement I felt while completing this challenge, and by the shiver of anticipation I am experiencing thinking of future deceptions. Be warned and listen for the hum....
You see, one of the challenges I claim to have completed is in fact a fake, cunningly planned and executed with stealth, but with my fingers firmly crossed behind my back. I invite all of you who have followed my adventures to guess which of the 50 is the imposter. I shall donate £10 to charity (CRY - Cardiac Risk in the Young) for every one of you who guesses right.
There is only one person on earth who knows the truth, so they are of course banned from joining in.
Unless of course, I am cleverer than I think I am, and this is the fake!
VOTE FOR THE ONE YOU THINK I FAKED ON THE POLL TO THE RIGHT OF MY BLOG.
Thanks to you all for your support and interest - you have been wonderful travelling companions on this mad journey.
You see, one of the challenges I claim to have completed is in fact a fake, cunningly planned and executed with stealth, but with my fingers firmly crossed behind my back. I invite all of you who have followed my adventures to guess which of the 50 is the imposter. I shall donate £10 to charity (CRY - Cardiac Risk in the Young) for every one of you who guesses right.
There is only one person on earth who knows the truth, so they are of course banned from joining in.
Unless of course, I am cleverer than I think I am, and this is the fake!
VOTE FOR THE ONE YOU THINK I FAKED ON THE POLL TO THE RIGHT OF MY BLOG.
Thanks to you all for your support and interest - you have been wonderful travelling companions on this mad journey.
Challenge 50 - STAY IN AN ICE HOTEL
What a finale to my year of madness and memories! Spending a night on the top of a 2000m alpine mountain, with only ice and snow protecting us from the elements and in the company of 22 of my ever-so-slightly-bonkers ski buddies.
The highlights were many and memorable:-
- sitting in the ice bar wrapped in reindeer skins, sipping warm Jager Tea and gluhwein
- soaking in a hot tub under a cloudless sky with icicles forming on your eyebrows and hair - followed of course by an obligatory quick roll in the snow a la swedish.
- stargazing while lying in the snow to the sound of Pie Jesu, contemplating the meaning of life, celebrating the wonder of nature and being humbled by our insignificance.
- admiring the spectacular creativity of the ice artists who had sculpted every wall and surface into dream-like scenes of dragons, unicorns, moons, stars, giant hands, forests etc..
- waking up in the morning alive and still with feeling in our extremities.
The lowlights were few and funny:-
- it was chilly to say the least, -10 degrees outside and a balmy -3 degrees in our toasty igloos - where are the hot flushes when you need them?
- being expected to share our romantic petal strewn igloo with 2 random German strangers - and declining - that challenge was definitely not on my list!
- running from igloo to hot tub dressed only in swimsuit, woolly hat and snow boots, while avoiding the would-be paparazzi lurking in the shadows (you know who you are!)
-drying (aka exfoliating) yourself with a frozen solid towel remembering not to bend over in case your bottom sticks to the walls.
- waking in the morning to a blizzard and having to plan a Shackleton type expedition to find the toilet facilities.
I could not have asked for a better way to finish the year, or for better people to share it with - thank you for coming along for the ride (especially if that was the first time you had slept in a sleeping bag! - what an introduction to camping!). Thanks too to the Iglu-Lodge guides for their good humour, tolerance and patience.
www.iglu-lodge.de
The adventure is over - back to normality/reality/sobriety/sanity/senility. My challenges are complete.........
........... OR ARE THEY?
Thursday, 22 December 2011
Challenge 49 - DO A SOLSTICE AT STONEHENGE
This one took me completely by surprise. Was expecting it be a box-ticking challenge, and actually had a slightly spiritual experience. I have always thought I was just a plain old common-or-garden atheist, but am now detecting an undercurrent of humanism, with a hint of paganism, and maybe even a dusting of druid-ism. I am therefore much more exciting than I thought I was! Or rather than I was yesterday.
The stones were the true star of the show. To stand within the inner circle, leaning against these iconic giants, watching the sun rise was a privilege. As humans they make us feel small by towering over us, yet as humans they make us feel tall by reminding us of what we can achieve using our amazing brains, bodies and spirit.
I know where I'll be this time next year, complete with mistletoe, bells, antlers, stick and some velveteen curtains. Care to join me?
Thursday, 15 December 2011
Challenge 48 - STAR IN A PANTO
By the end, I did believe I could fly, I did believe I could touch the sky - I had risen to the challenge, and unexpectedly quite enjoyed it. The smell of the grease-paint had tickled my nostrils, the roar of applause had echoed in my ears, the stage lights had dazzled my eyes.
Broadway here I come......dahling! I think about it every night and day, I spread my wings and fly away.....
Thanks to everyone for pushing me very forcefully out of my comfort zone in the cupboard.
Challenge 47 - INVENT A COCKTAIL
I am not precious with my talents - I will share the fruits of my tipples for all to enjoy:
Hot Flush:
1 shot blackberry brandy
1 shot vodka
1 dessertspoon chilli syrup
Menopausal Madness:
1 shot grand marnier
1 shot tequila
1/2 shot grenadine
1 shot orange juice
Fab-at-Fifty Festive Fandango:
1 shot brandy
1 shot vermouth
1 shot cranberry juice
1/2 shot spice syrup.
Get out the charity shop cocktail dresses, slip on your dancing shoes, get mixing, shaking and stirring... and let the party begin.......
.......and end, many hours later, when I eventually fall into bed full of festive fandango, oozing menopausal madness and experiencing a serious hot flush.
Alas - both the cocktail fairies and James Bond have left the building! Kitchen remains hungover, and head is in a sticky mess.
But I still love cocktails!
Wednesday, 30 November 2011
Challenge 46 - GO TO BINGO
Completely and alarmingly addictive.
All too soon it was over, leaving the bitter taste of disappointment seeping into our Pinot grigios. We were the last to leave, long after the 'two fat ladies', the 'little duck' and the 57 Heinz varieties had left the building. Unlucky for some, clickety click.
"FREE UNLIMITED BINGO - EVERY THURS AFTERNOON."
Mmmmm......worth missing Countdown for?
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