Challenge 17 - SKI OFF-PISTE

Ski-ing and I have had a long, passionate and turbulent on-off relationship.  It was not love-at-first-sight, but started more from a grim determination not to be the one holding the coats and drinks at the bottom of the piste while my children, friends and husband threw themselves down vertical mountains.  To earn my gluhwein at the top of the magnificent Alps I had to be able to stay on skis long enough to get back down to the bottom - to a good Irish girl like myself that was incentive enough!

We have had many lovers' tiffs, when I have ended up botton-skyward with my skis over my head and the sound of 'friends' giggling ringing in my ears!  I have been shamed into contemplating getting down the mountain on my ever-patient friend/ski-instructor's back.  I have cried on the top of slopes begging my lovely friend, Sarah, to let me come down on my bottom. She always refused. I have skied in ridiculous costumes as forfeits for being a ridiculous skier!

We have also had moments of great passion, when I would sell my own children for one more run down the Kanzelwand, or when I skied my first black feeling like Franz Klammer, but looking like Postman Pat on skis.

This trip I had a new challenge - to ski off-piste.  I have been off-piste before, when I have failed to turn and ended up face-planted in 4 feet of snow.  But this time I was going to learn to stay on the surface and not to cry!

According to our guru, Gilly, the key is to BOUNCE, BOUNCE, BOUNCE with equal pressure on both skis, and I did (sort of), leaving new tracks in 2 feet of virgin powder snow. Sadly the ones to the left are not mine, but please forgive my plagiarism.  Mine looked more like a toddler's scribble on a blank piece of paper.  I will continue bouncing till I get there.

 Ski-ing and I fell in love once more.....

Challenge 16 - RAISE £1000 FOR CHARITY

One of my nobler challenges, and one in which I need your help.  During my year, I have to raise £1000 for charity and hopefully have a lot of fun doing it.  My first fundraising effort is taking part in the London 2011 Moonwalk on 14th May, which does involve me and my lovely team walking 13 miles through the streets of London (thankfully in the dark) wearing our bras, and dressed up as rather garish, oversized flamingos.  Any thoughts about what you think the necks of the flamingos look like, have already been aired and giggled at, but all I have to say is "Shame on you!".

Much fun has already been had in my kitchen amidst a flurry of lurid pink netting and feathers, washed down with a little glassette of wine.  We have also giggled our way along the south coast from Southbourne to Poole and back in the dark, just to prove we hadn't bitten off more than we could chew (and it's back to the large pink necks!!!).

Just for the record, I have a sports injury (the first in 50 years!) - a sore knee sustained during my foray into the dangerous world of Tai Chi.  I offer this to you as a bid for sympathy, and not as a premature excuse for failure!

If you feel you could help me in my challenge, please visit our fundraising page and support our efforts - any amount will be greatly appreciated, and will go some way in the fight against breast cancer. It will also spur us on to the finishing line and a large glass of champagne:

Jennifer Hogan's fundraising page for The MoonWalk London 2011

www.walkthewalkfundraising.org

Thanks for Supporting such a Great Cause!

Challenge 15 - ?

This is a tricky one to blog.   Those of you in the 'inner circle of trust' will know what it is.  Suffice to say that it was suggested by my son, Ben, and that it involved a branch of a leading Scandanavian furniture retailer and a plastic spatula.

In my defence, m'lud, I didn't realise I had completed this challenge until I had.  I am not proud, but it did make me smile.

Nee naw, nee naw, - is that the sound of sirens........?

Challenge 10 - TURN VEGETARIAN (Update)

I did it!  Nothing with a face rested on my plate or passed my lips for a month.  I nearly gave in to a piece of pork crackling, but I resisted.  In fact, it was relatively easy (I love pulses), and I felt better for it.  I also gave up alcohol, chocolate and caffeine, so perhaps it was a combination of all my sacrifices that resulted in my feelings of wellness and self-righteousness!   I also lost 12 lbs in a month, so happy days.

Confession time - I did eat a portion of Patrick's cheesecake, purely to qualify as a good and caring mum, and it did contain gelatine.  Please forgive me my transgression, and allow me to tick my challenge.

Challenge 14 - BUY SOMETHING AT AUCTION

Going.........going...........gone!  The hammer went down, and I was the very proud owner of lot no 133 - a UKELELE!  Tension was high, my palms were sweaty, my throat was dry, I needed a nervous wee, but I held firm and outbid the only other bidder.  I waved my white card in the air nonchalantly with a done-it-all-before air, but despite my best efforts, my childish excitement shone through as I tried to resist the urge to punch the air and shout 'Loser' at my competitor.

Why a ukelele, I hear you ask.  Not a clue, I answer.  Just a whim, and a tad more exciting than a pair of pottery spaniels or 9 albums of Isle of Man stamps!  At least I can recoup my outlay by busking.  I did attempt a bid on a stuffed woodpecker, but got cold feet at £26, and also a set of 5 flying ducks which reached the dizzy height of £110.

As bonkers as my purchase was, the prize for the Most Mad Moment of the day must go to my friend, Ann.  Without warning or forethought her hand shot up into the air on hearing the phrase '£5 for the quantity of horse-feeding fixtures'.  Splendidly, she now has the means to feed the horse she doesn't have!  I giggled uncontrollably into my catalogue, scared that my shaking shoulders might be misconstrued as a bid for a mahogany dresser with cabriole legs!










I love auctions - it's like adrenalin-fuelled charity-shop shopping while sitting on a comfortable 'mahogany dining chair with blue overstuffed seat' (lot 152).  Where else could you buy 4 gilt-framed prints (£2), a pair of eagle statues (£10) and a set of 4 oak dining chairs with turned legs (£10) without moving?




I feel an addiction coming on...

Challenge 13 - GO TO THE OPERA

This is an homage to my dad, who sang opera on a regular basis, completely out of tune, at the top of his voice, throughout my childhood. Probably accounts for it taking me 50 years to actually build up the courage to go.

Iain and I went last night to see Il Trovatore by the Welsh National Opera, and shock, horror, - opera is actually amazingly good when sung in tune (as indeed the Welsh can do with bells on). I expected to endure it, but in fact enjoyed it. I had familiarised myself with the rather strange story line, which helped - but it was completely captivating to listen to music performed without amplification. I resisted the urge to shout out "I know this one" when the Anvil Chorus came on. You know the one - Daa daa da-da da-da da-da da-da da-dada.

Another bonus was that Iain and I felt young - an opportunity not to be missed when approaching 50! And also rather well dressed for once. Opera seems to bring out all the misfits from the shires on their zimmer frames, who haven't been to a shop for some decades, and who are still darning their tweed elbows. They also spoke strangely - the only word I could make out was 'frightfully'.

For those of you justifiably worried about Iain through all this, he distracted himself with the mathematical conundrum of working out the statistical probability of someone dying during the performance given the age profile. Conclusion - 1 fatality and a near miss.

Challenge 12 - PRACTISE TAI CHI

I was worried about this one - not about the physical and emotional demands of this gentle martial art - but that I might giggle and be asked to leave with my head hung in shame. As it happens, you have to concentrate far too hard to have time to giggle, even when faced, literally, by some 'expulsions of air' from the other practitioners! It is more physically challenging and mentally absorbing than I anticipated, which left me feeling invigorated and eager for more.

We were blessed by glorious weather, which meant that we could practise outside, with the grass under our bare (in March!) feet, surrounded by the 5 elements of Tai Chi - earth, water, fire (the Sun!), metal and wood. We even tried some meditative breathing around our Tai Chi tree - dangerously close to tree-hugging, I know.

Photos were obviously a no-no as they would have interrupted the flow of The Form and upset the balance, but rather than asking you to take my word for it that I was absolutely brilliant, we took a few snaps on the cliff top on the way home. My brilliance is plain for all to see, though my husband Iain remarked that I looked more like a cross between Max Wall and Scott Tracy of Thunderbirds! My lovely friend, Denise, was very patient and waited for all my pent-up giggling to subside before capturing the moment.

We did come across another Tai-Chi nut (for that is indeed what I now am) practising on the cliff top, but he was very very small. Perhaps it makes you shrink!

I'm off to commune with nature and find Yin and Yang, whoever they are!